God Himself Is the Author of Marriage

18 May

Happy Ordinary Time! The color of this liturgical season is green because it is a time of growing in our faith. In keeping with this time of growth, the Marriage Minute for the next few months will examine what we as Catholics believe about marriage so that we can live out our vocation more fully.

CCC“God himself is the author of marriage” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 1603).

No one knows a story like its author. In like manner, no one knows marriage like God, who created it. We look to God for the definition of marriage, and especially for direction in what our own marriage should look like.

  • How much do we allow God into our marriage?
  • What prevents us from allowing God to have a greater influence?
  • How can God be more central in our marriage?
  • How can we better understand God’s true vision for marriage?

The foregoing is this week’s installment of the “Marriage Minute,” produced by the Marriage and Family Life Office of the Archdiocese, which attempts to view the Sunday readings through the lens of the Sacrament of Marriage.

Unity and Difference

12 May

aaaaaOften when we get frustrated with our spouse, it is not because he or she has behaved badly, but because he or she did not react the way that we ourselves would have acted under the same circumstances.

Today’s readings are about unity. We hear of different languages understanding each other, and different parts of the body working together for good. But unity does not mean “sameness.”

The Holy Spirit did not make everyone the same, but rather aligned those differences harmoniously. This is a model for us in learning how to handle our differences in relationship. When confronted with an irritating difference, try asking yourself:

  • What positive trait or virtue is at work in my spouse right now?
  • What can I learn from this virtue?
  • If I have a complementary virtue, what is the most charitable way to use it in this situation?

The foregoing is this week’s installment of the “Marriage Minute,” produced by the Marriage and Family Life Office of the Archdiocese, which attempts to view the Sunday readings through the lens of the Sacrament of Marriage.

Can You Prove Your Christianity?

21 Apr

aaaaHave you ever noticed that it’s often easier to be kind to strangers when you’re angry than it is to be kind to your family?

In this Sunday’s responsorial psalm we hear that the Lord is “slow to anger and abounding in compassion,” and in the Gospel Jesus tells His disciples that they will be known by how well they love. How well we love our families, especially in anger, is proof of our Christianity!

If that’s a challenge, consider this. We don’t have to feel warm and fuzzy to be kind. In fact, often when we act kind or compassionate despite our feelings to the contrary, the feelings follow.

The next time we may feel tempted to snap at our loved ones, let’s try to think of what it would look like to respond with “abounding compassion.” This self-control will be a powerful witness to our children.

The foregoing is this week’s installment of the “Marriage Minute,” produced by the Marriage and Family Life Office of the Archdiocese, which attempts to view the Sunday readings through the lens of the Sacrament of Marriage.

 

Mercy Manifesto

13 Apr
Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa, O.F.M. Cap.

Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa, O.F.M. Cap.

In this Sunday’s Gospel, Jesus offers us eternal happiness, and the doorway to access this eternal life is mercy. The following is from this year’s Good Friday Homily at St Peter’s Basilica given by Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa, and it sheds great light on the dignity of the family.

“There is only one thing that can truly save the world, mercy! The mercy of God for human beings and the mercy of human beings for each other. In particular, it can save the most precious and fragile thing in the world at this time, marriage and the family.”

In the family, we have the unique and important opportunity to practice mercy every day. Forgiveness, patience, kindness, service, discipline, and affirmation are simple ways that we express mercy to one another within the family. Each time we do this, we make God’s mercy visible in the world.

The foregoing is this week’s installment of the “Marriage Minute,” produced by the Marriage and Family Life Office of the Archdiocese, which attempts to view the Sunday readings through the lens of the Sacrament of Marriage.

Reasons to Believe

6 Apr

aaaa“The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

“We must obey God rather than men.” St. Peter boldly proclaimed these words as he was questioned by the authorities 2,000 years ago. In a certain sense, not much has changed. Modern popes and faithful Catholics are asked frequently to deny Jesus or the teachings of His Church on so many issues, but especially when it comes to matters of marriage and family life, and we also have to say, “We must obey God rather than men.”

Mostly, confusion arises because the “why” of the Church’s teaching has never been explained well. Many are often unaware of the beauty that stands at the foundations of “controversial teachings” such as same-sex “marriage,” contraception, pornography, and divorce. It is important for us to understand the “why” of the Church’s teachings as much as the “what.”

For common sense explanations on Church teachings regarding marriage and family life, go to www.archkck.org/family. Then click on “defending marriage.”

The Mission of Marriage . . . If You Choose to Accept It

31 Mar

Recently durinaaaag Mass, Maggie, my 5 year-old daughter, grabbed my hand while we were listening to the homily. I thought she just wanted to hold my hand, but I was wrong. She gave my hand to Libby, so we could hold hands during the homily. It deepened my realization that little ones want desperately for their parents to not only be together, but to be “IN LOVE.”

It is sometimes easy to forget that one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to constantly strive to grow in our marriage no matter how good or not so good it already is. No matter where we are or have been in our marriages, the natural instinct of my daughter, Magdalene, can give us deep insight into the supernatural reality of this Easter Season. Let’s explore.

What is it about an “in love” married couple that gives so much security to our little ones? I think it has something to do with the fact that a married couple is intended to be the very reflection and concrete experience of the love and goodness of God. Every married couple has the mission to be a window into the life and love of the Holy Trinity. If the reflection that the couple is intended to convey becomes cloudy, then the child’s confidence in God’s loving providence is clouded. Children want to believe that they come from love. If a child knows that their existence is the fruit of love, then they are confident that they exist for a reason.

We all know that children are created out of the love of God and that there is a reason for the creation of every child. Yet we as parents sometimes forget that we are supposed to be the living and tangible reminder every day to that reality by the way we love each other. It is not just about participating with God in the child’s creation, and then focusing on the child and figuring that our spouse is old enough and can take care of their own needs. When we intentionally choose to nurture the married relationship, we create the culture for a child to grow in a stable environment. If we were going to plant a garden, we would not be very successful if we did not tend to the soil. Passionate marriages are the optimal soil for the seed of children to flourish!

Yes, I said “passionate.” Some are scandalized by that word, so let me explain why I purposely chose it. When I say “passionate,” I am not talking about “an urgency to make love.” That is how the world defines it, and it is important to reclaim the language. When I say “passion,” I am talking about the type of passion that we celebrated on Good Friday. And no, I am not saying that marriage is torture. I am saying that the total self-abandonment of Christ on the Cross is the same self-abandonment that a married couple is called to have toward each other. The grace that was won on Calvary and offered through the Resurrection is made present to and through the Sacrament of Matrimony. St. John Paul II expressed it best when he said that married couples are a “permanent reminder to the Church of what Christ did on the Cross” (Familiaris Consortio).

The mystery of Christ’s Death and Resurrection is present in every home, and what a wonderful plan in the wisdom of God. God knew that the Blessed Sacrament would not be able to make it into every home, but through Baptism and Matrimony, His sacramental presence has the potential to reach every house and neighborhood.

Our marriages are personal but not private. When we embrace the call to love each other as Christ loved the Church, we participate in the sanctification of the world. We can sometimes dismiss evangelization as a good idea that some people should do out there somewhere, or we wait around for our parish priest to form an evangelization committee. The reality is that when we love our spouse passionately, we evangelize our children and our communities, and we participate in the redemption of the whole world!

I invite every married man and woman, most especially myself, to step up the level of love in our relationship this Easter season. The grace is abundant, and when we take the time to prioritize our marriage, we enter deeply into the mystery of Christ’s Death and Resurrection. If we enter into this mystery more deeply this Easter season, we will experience the power of Pentecost in a tangible way, and we will be a beacon of light in a world that struggles mightily to find the path to authentic happiness.

Why not strengthen your marriage this Easter season by attending a marriage enrichment retreat or workshop? A common mindset is that these retreats or workshops are for couples that are struggling, but that could not be farther from the truth. Healthy marriages intentionally “do something” for their marriage each year. They don’t just wait until it gets bad. Just as regular maintenance on the family vehicle helps to avoid the need for bigger more costly repairs down the line, so regular enrichment keeps good marriages strong!

Upcoming opportunities include the Living in Love retreat April 2-3 in Emporia and June 11-12 in Topeka. Another option is the Recharge Marriage Workshop, which is a 4-hour experience that includes CHILDCARE! The next one is at the Church of the Ascension in Overland Park on April 23. Check it out at www.archkck.org/recharge.

Unlocking the Gift of Peace

29 Mar

aaaa“Peace be with you.” Jesus offers peace this Divine Mercy Sunday. The peace of Jesus is different from the peace that the world promises. Peace is not simply an absence of war, although that would be nice. The promise of Jesus is a peace that surpasses all understanding: a peace of the soul and a gift the world cannot give.

The pathway to this peace is forgiveness. In the same way that Jesus passed through the locked doors and offered His Apostles peace, He wants to pass through the locked doors of our hearts and broken relationships that are erected through sin and give us the gift of interior peace.

We participate in this peace in two ways in our families. First, we always have the gift of peace that comes through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Second, when we use the words, “I forgive you” and “Please forgive me” with our spouse and children, and teach them to use the same words, we allow Jesus to bring His gift of peace into our family life.

This Easter Season, and especially during this Year of Mercy, let us be generous in seeking God’s forgiveness in Confession, offering forgiveness in our family relationships, and praying that a spirit of forgiveness will be more prevalent throughout the world. When we do this, we participate in the victory of Easter over death and despair.

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