Tag Archives: judging

The Hidden Pharisee in Marriage

20 Oct

vacuum“O God, I thank you that I am not like this tax collector.”

The Pharisee in this Sunday’s Gospel is so arrogant! Yet it is easy to be the same way in our own marriages. We often judge our spouse’s actions against what we would have done in the same situation, imagining that our way is right and theirs is wrong. We can say to ourselves, “If only my spouse were more like me, things would be much smoother.”

For example, “O God, I thank you that I am not like my spouse . . . who thinks a vacuum is an appropriate birthday gift . . . or who cries whenever we fight . . . or who always makes us late.”

We all have our own version of that “prayer.” For trivial matters, we can ask our spouse why he or she behaves a certain way, and in the process learn more about him or her. Even when our spouse is sinning, we can look deeply into our own hearts and say, “O God, be merciful to me, a sinner,” and then grant forgiveness.

The foregoing is this week’s installment of the “Marriage Minute,” produced by the Marriage and Family Life Office of the Archdiocese, which attempts to view the Sunday readings through the lens of the Sacrament of Marriage.