Tag Archives: perspective


16 Feb

Overall, my 7 year old son has adjusted well to life in Kansas City after our move from up north in September. There are times, however, when he is almost brought to tears in thinking about all that we left in Minnesota. What I find fascinating is the specific things he laments losing.

For instance, he talks a lot about his “best friend,” whom I will call Cole. Cole is a kid who is a grade ahead of my son and with whom he had maybe a total of five play dates the whole time we lived there.  When he talks about Cole and how much he misses him, I am sympathetic, but I can’t help but picturing what things would have been like if we had stayed. Cole, now a 2nd grader, would be so wrapped up in school and activities that my son and he would rarely, if ever, have time to play. I marvel at the other friends he left that I know he misses, but that he forgets to mention.

Likewise, I know that when my son talks of moving back to Minnesota, he is picturing life there just as it was last year when he was in kindergarten.  Yet I know that even in the few short months since we left, our friends there have changed, and so have we. He doesn’t realize that if we moved back tomorrow that he would miss the new group of friends he has met here. He doesn’t take into account that we made a commitment to our job here and have no jobs in Minnesota anymore. He doesn’t get the fact that other people are living in our house and that we have signed a contract to rent our Kansas City house until the end of the summer. He definitely does not understand that moving an entire house full of things so soon after moving them the first time would certainly turn his mother’s head prematurely gray!

What he understands when he suggests we move back is are his feelings at the moment, his affection for all that he loved about living up north. A good parent empathizes, but also sees that granting the request will not make him as happy as he thinks. As parents, we have a greater perspective.

Lack of perspective is not a 7-year-old’s problem. It’s a fallen humanity problem. Continue reading